jadeyandcoke

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:06:58 GMT

i'm really happy, and i have all the best people around/behind me. i'm having the best last two weeks ever. i'm going to miss these moments, seeing all my favourite people, being goofy and talking about everything.
gonna miss one person madly, they shall remain nameless though! sad face, as they say. thank god they only live a train ride away.

tomorrow, i have a job interview at waitrose in fulham. hopefully they can offer me something permanent. i can then throw in the towel at tesco, and move onto pastures new. i love tesco dearly, but the whole student transfer has been messy and unorganised, so i don't have much faith in them anymore. i've been mucked about far too much. i love my homies on the petrol filling station, gonna miss them loads. they've been the best work colleagues ever.

so yeah, ten days and counting. scared/excited/happy/nervous.

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:00:48 GMT

god, i hurt like hell today.
no, i'm not hungover... i worked a bank holiday nightshift. i think i got in at 4am? or thereabouts, anyway. i started off on loo rolls, then nappies and baby products (aw) and then onto shampoo and body wash. those boxes are hella heavy.
tonight is my birthday night out! i'm so excited! all my favourite people are coming :) well, most of them anyway. gonna rip southend up.
it'll probably be the last time i see most of these people before i bugger off to uni. sadtimessss. i'm gonna miss everyone like mad. it's kinda huge. ermmm, so this week i intend to introduce simon to the wonders of ikea. i can't believe he's never been! will get some more stuff for my uni flat, though people have already given me a whole bunch of stuff to take. but still, i won't pass up a chance to go to ikea! ha. apart from that, i will fuel my addiction to marble lines and bouncing balls on facebook, and generally make a nuisance of myself! win.

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:06:31 GMT

today is my birthday! i am twenty years young :)

wins of the day: nick bringing me birthday ice-cream and birthday hugs on his lunch break at 1.30am, going to nando's for birthday chicken, black forest gateau birthday cake, simon flying home from canada, lots of facebook and family love and FINALLY completing my scrubs dvd collection after having to skip from season 2 to 5 forever. i have all seven series, yo. gotta love the zach braff love.

fails of the day: my sisters bickering, going to lakeside shopping but coming home empty handed, my friends all being at reading festival/working/flying home so no partying for me tonight. instead, i am sitting in bed eating black forest gateau and watching scrubs. love it.

i moan about not celebrating tonight, however, i am out when everyone gets home from reading on tuesday night for birthday drinks in southend with my homies. i love them all very much :)

tomorrow i hang with a very jet-lagged simon (mad man, it was his suggestion though) before commencing a four-day weekend at work. let the good times rollllll!

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:23:01 GMT

so today i got my a-level results. i found out about getting into roehampton first though because UCAS were kind enough to send me a letter which landed on my head at 8.30am (thanks mum). my mum cried lots because she was happy and i made her a cup of tea before going back to sleep for a bit. i got up a while later and decided to go collect my results from college. i knew already that i'd done really well as the option for 'adjustment' had been put on my UCAS track profile. adjustment works by letting you apply for another institution if your results are better than the offer made to you by your firm choice. i needed 320 points to get into roehampton, so i knew i'd exceeded that. big win. after a nutrigrain bar, some water and half a packet of polos, i pulled up at college and made the dreaded walk to the canteen where my results would be waiting. i gave over my ID and was presented with the white envelope containing my results. i didn't open them straight away; i contemplated whether to go and sit in my car and open them or just go outside and do the honours. i opted to go outside. the exam boards provide you with a breakdown of the modules you completed and the results you've got for them before putting your final grade at the bottom. this angered me as i wasted precious seconds scanning for the letter that mattered. i got a B in Music Technology, B in English Language and a D in Music. happy days. i called my mum, who cried some more, and then i had a little cry myself. it's been a long four years, but i've finally made it. elated doesn't even cover it. ha.

anyway, i was meant to go out celebrating with a few friends tonight down the 'mayne, but i found out that my ex-boyfriend will be there with his new lady, so i ducked out of going because i don't want to make him feel awkward at all, and i don't want to feel awkward either lolll. so instead, i am sitting here listening to athlete with my friends ben and jerry. love it. i've got lots of balloons in my room :) balloon win.

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:30:17 GMT

I got two B's and a D in my A-Levels which means i'm off to Roehampton on September 20th! So unbelievably chuffed :)

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:43:31 GMT

so today is a new day. the sun is shining and it's so goddamn hot.
feeling kinda better today, i got a haircut this morning which makes me feel fab, and i've decided to make a clean break and move on. i have enough to worry about, anyway. for instance, tomorrow, which is the-day-where-i-find-out-if-i-have-a-future-or-not aka results day. slight panic that results may not arrive on time a la royal mail postal strikes, however bbc news have reassured me that all will be well. contingency plans ftw :)
student finance england are still making nuisances of themselves; i've had nothing but trouble from them since i first applied for my loans and now they've decided to lose a whole bunch of my applications. eejits. as long as i get some money to pay for my flat, peace will remain. if i have to sit on hold for another forty zillion minutes though, i will not be happy.
on the topic of university: is it wrong that i'm more excited about the prospect of living on the doorstep of banquet records than actually going to uni? answers on a postcard. ta.

t minus sixteen hours and seventeen minutes. faaaaaaaack.

i've decided i'm a yo-yo. i want to be a spirit level.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:13:33 GMT

again, this is a low. there's way too many.

i should be rate happy/scared/nervous because thursday is d-day, but i just want to curl up in the corner and cry. i went out clubbing with some old school friends last night and had a whale of a time. in a post-clubbing happiness haze, i dared to phone tesco man last night to arrange some hang-out time. we agreed on tonight. he told me to call him this afternoon to sort out a time; he hasn't answered his phone to calls or texts. i shouldn't have expected any less really, i'm not surprised at all. i don't know why i do it to myself. he's clearly a complete tosspot, but there's something about him that is keeping me hanging on. i expect he'll give me a completely lame excuse in the morning. it's doing naff all for my confidence; maybe it's something i did? or am doing? time to move on methinks. i seem to attract dickheads lately.
it's starting to make me regret the decision i made a few months ago. fucking idiot.
i've been having some epic chats with my friend simon lately; he's in canada on holiday for a month, and he's been online pretty much everyday, with his 56k dial-up connection (ha) it's kind of a nice solace, chatting to him. he's usually the one i go crying to when the shit has hit the fan, and he's still managed to provide a shoulder from 5,000 miles away. i can't wait til he gets home, there's a piss-up in order :)

anyway, i just want a nice cuddle in bed with someone nice. wishful thinking. a normal cuddle will do nicely instead.

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:55:42 GMT

i'm feeling much better this week. apart from the raging hangover i'm currently in possession of... i have no idea what happened last night at all. it started with a drinking game, and the next thing i know i'm puking, and then some. i've blown a whole load of blood vessels in my face from puking so much ha. well, that's the new toilet in our house christened! i'm never drinking vodka again. evil drink. i think i must have consumed one of those little bottles that you can buy for about £7. paiiiiiiin.

anyway, yeah i'm feeling good. my little love dilemma is solved, phone and computer were screwed. so maybe my love-life shouldn't fuck off... just yet. results day is looming, less than four days to go now. my accommodation is confirmed at uni and things. starting to get a little more excited. it's my birthday in just over ten days. i will consider last night as my last night of reckless teenage drinking. i'll be old! ha.

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:56:05 GMT

i kind of only seem to post on here at big milestones. last time i posted it was christmas, and today, as i write, it is almost my 20th birthday.
a lot has passed since christmas.

firstly, i passed my driving test. 7th april 2009. huge win on that. i drive about in a lovely little ford KA, and i love it. i hated learning to drive, but now i have the independance of a full driving license, i can go wherever i want and i've really grown to enjoy driving. i've picked up some bad habits in the space of four months though.
secondly, i write this as a single lady. i was loved-up at christmas, and it's funny how you wake up one day and everything has changed. the last few months have been painfully hard for both parties, but i guess it wasn't meant to be. i think i'll carry the guilt of breaking his heart forever.
thirdly, it's less than two weeks until i get my A-Level results and find out if i'm going to uni for definite. A-Levels went well, i worked my little bottom off for them, and i hope my results reflect that. i'm shitting bricks though.

i must admit that i'm struggling at the moment, mainly emotionally - i'm always struggling physically. ha! uni is approaching fast, and everything suddenly seems very real. in six weeks, i will have moved to a different city, started a new job and started my degree, all on my own. it's scary stuff. this is coupled with love-life trouble (ugh) so i'm feeling pretty low at the moment. the nights are the hardest; i've been helping out the night team as overtime, and thus have gotten into a routine of getting into bed at 4am. it's a routine which is hard to break. so much time has been spent sitting aimlessly at the end of my bed in the dark, just feeling completely listless. i look like complete shit, dark circles and all that jazz. my skin has gone to pot and i feel just gross.

my love-life can fuck off entirely, because i've discovered in recent weeks that men only want one thing, which has left me holding any man that walks into my life at arms length. also, i lost one of my best friends a few weeks ago because he had developed feelings for me and decided that being my friend would be too difficult for him, and so he disappeared out of my life forever. that ruined my weekend at latitude festival, and left me with a rather bitter taste in my mouth. funny how love can complicate things, huh? i met a guy at work who made me feel like my old, confident self again, but he seems to have cut off all contact in the past few days which is painful for me to take as i was really beginning to let my guard down with him. i miss our nightly sojourns to the cosmos kebab van, evenings playing monopoly and his late night lunch visits. i hope he's just run out of credit and his computer is screwed, but somehow, i don't think that this is the case. it's funny how men change their mind in a brief 24 hour window. his loss, i guess. i wish i could truly believe that.

anyway, i'm going to find solace in series one of scrubs (zach braff makes things all better) and hopefully i'll be able to post again soon with some better news and maybe feeling a little brighter in myself. on a better note, i'm going to get a few good songs out of this period. funny how things turn out.

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 12:13:19 GMT

happy new year,

http://loveireletters.livejournal.com - catch me there from now on...

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:55:09 GMT

So last night i started a sort of year summary blog. And then i got tired and decided to go to bed. I now think (!) i'm in the right frame of mind to write out my reflection of the past year (only ten days left) so here goes...
This year has been pretty awesome, i've been to a whole bunch of gigs, taken no sick days from work - but loads from college, did really well in my first year exams, failed my driving test twice (okay, not so awesome) and managing to abstain from breaking any bones for the first time ever! I've also spent a ridiculous amount of hours warming the upstairs seats in the Hamilton Hall branch of Wetherspoons in Liverpool Street, lamenting about all the things wrong with the world with my good friend Baldy Paul. Good times.
Seeing Brett Anderson was a real highlight, as was seeing "The Modfather" Paul Weller, winning tickets to see The Feeling, and seeing Tapes 'n' Tapes in the upstairs room of a pub. I was let loose with Paul on holiday to Dublin in June which was so amazing, i really want to go back at some point because i loved every moment of it, especially going to see Riverdance and seeing Laura Marling in a little jazz club called Whelans. I felt really at home which is probably to do with the Irish blood running through my veins! Admittedly, i pretty much spent the whole time taking pictures of Paul taking pictures. No idea why. Our holiday photos make interesting viewing. Well mine do, anyway. Um, what else? I grew my hair, did really well until August when i got majorly bored and decided to have an asymmetrical cut which involved having one side of my hair cut off. I got it evened out a few months ago, so i'm back to being short. Think Sarah Harding or Rihanna and you're there. I managed to stay a redhead for the entire year though! I really have the whole hair thing the wrong way around - i think it's meant to be long in winter and then short for the hot summer... but not for me. I just don't have the patience to faff with my hair for hours every morning, and i really disagree with forking out hundreds of pounds for a pair of hair straighteners, so my hair never looks poker straight (boring) and therefore looks shite.
And as for next year? Uni time, yeah! I'm so, so stoked to be going to uni :) i'm going to pass my A-Levels, pass my driving test, go to more awesome gigs (hopefully Blur and Snow Patrol), maybe go on holiday again if it financially permits and write some songs... i need to write songs. I say this every year, and i'll probably default from it. I'm also still wishing for a Smiths reunion. Hey, we can all dream.
With any luck, i'll still be commanding the petrol pumps during the weekends at Tesco - as much as i moan about the place, i love it and the people i work with to bits. I'll throw more till roll balls at Dave and Sharon, wretch at my smelly regulars and moan that there's never a working pen in the kiosk, but it's home. Hence why i've been working there for nearly 18 months without a sick day. I'm a good girl, me.
Second New Year together for me and Paul, i'm pretty stoked about that... no idea what we'll be doing when the clocks chime this year but it'll be good, regardless :)

Merry Christmas!

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:47:36 GMT

I was going to write some summary of the year, however i'm well tired now and i want to get into bed and finish reading Chart Throb by Ben Elton. Anyway, i will say two things:

Dublin was one of the best weeks of my life, and i spent most of it taking pictures of Paul taking pictures of things

and

I want to definitely write more songs next year. I now view my MacBook as an investment.

To be continued...

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 13:50:07 GMT

i haven't posted for ages. i'm sorry about that. lots of stuff has happened! um, it looks like i'm finally going to university, pending exam results of course (!) which is really exciting for me, especially as it's taken so long to get to this point. i have my second driving test on Friday, which i'm not sure if i'm nervous about yet... i only booked it two weeks ago. i haven't driven properly for months. well, i had a couple of lessons a few weeks ago, but i haven't driven solidly since i failed back in July. the lessons i did have, though went amazingly well (just like riding a bike!) and i have a couple of lessons this week before the test, so fingers crossed i don't nause them up. i won't speculate about the outcome; i refuse to look at cars and insurance, we'll just see what happens on the day. hopefully it'll be cloudy. not raining, or sunny - 'cause winter sun is a bitch, so low and bright! killer on the eyes. what else? Paul and I celebrated a year together this week, which was lovely. It's really weird, looking back on past entries (i.e. this time last year) seeing how much i was into him. i was trying to be all cryptic... bless me.
I think i might wipe this journal, or maybe the entries in it, or perhaps just start up a new journal for the start of 2009. I'm hoping to blog solidly again for a year, like i did between September 2007 and September 2008... i dunno yet, though.
Other than that, i started writing for thisisfakediy.co.uk, doing reviews and the like. I have 2 CD reviews and a live review under my belt so far! I have another 2 CD's to review today, i'm already behind schedule for that, whoops.
It's Christmas soon, whey! :)

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:36:46 GMT

this week has been really odd, and i would quite like to write it off and forget about it. it does however, mean that i have been labelled a 'twat' for the foreseeable future. gutted at me. today i am meant to be in college, but i've been getting funny pains in my head for the last two days and i was getting up a lot last night with it. painkillers aren't working, and i'm limited on what painkillers i can take cause of my asthma. i rung my mum for advice and she told me to go see the doctor, which i have appointment to do this afternoon. i rather hope he doesn't sign me off with stress or something. maybe i've got sinusitis again like i did last year. i need to be at work though, it's saving me from mentalness haha. i thought i'd never say that.
apart from that, i'm beginning to feel a little more normal again, which everyone, spesh twigs, will be pleased to know. he has been so wonderful with me for the past week and all my craziness. i really do have such an amazing boyfriend. lucky mushy me! going to see brett anderson on tuesday, which i'm so excited about! the man is a god :)

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 12:39:24 GMT

okay, it really has been a ridiculously offensive amount of time since i last posted. i do apologise, i know i used to post a few times a week or whatever. i have no explanation for this lack of posting.
um life is okay at the moment, bit up and down but i know that is a direct relation to the fact i return to college on monday! i really can't wait for this academic year to be over, and it hasn't even started yet.
other than that, i can't really complain, i'm fulfilling my role as a habitual worrier, and work isn't too bad. been doing a little overtime this week, had some overtime cancelled, but that was only 3 hours worth so it won't make too big a dent in my income. the 'rents are going to london for the weekend to see jersey boys and get generally pissed, so paul's coming over which will be nice. i really need a bigger bed though! it's a nice squash though... cosy, i guess :) he's gonna kill me for saying that! hahaha. it'll be fine, i'm gonna get my head down and work my arse off this year, it'll take my mind off missing paul and get me into uni and then we can have lunch together in london. there is always a silver lining! :) okay, i'm off for my daily infusion of lea and perrins. beautiful.

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 12:24:12 GMT

because of recent circumstances, this really rings true for me.
the last few days have been the strangest. i just want everyone to be okay.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:29:27 GMT

well i got my A-Level results today; i got an A, a B and two C's. I also got an E in Music but i'd prefer to forget that ever happened! I'm dead chuffed because i thought i'd failed English after the cock-up i made in the exam, but thankfully, it obviously wasn't that major because i came out with a B overall :) I've also got to have my Music Tech coursework re-marked as i got a U for it! I still came out with a C overall, but if i get a re-mark in my favour, then i'll come out with a B overall... no idea why i got a U, my coursework was fine, and everyone else in my class got C's for that particular unit. Oh well. I have no idea why that happened. I'm dead happy, though. I couldn't have asked for better results! Tomorrow i go to Aberdeen, by coach, so i have a wonderfully long journey to look forward to... that's gonna be a killler! I'm going to need serious entertainment, i think.

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 23:59:24 GMT

last night i went to one of the best shows ever. i've never sang my heart out and meant it so much. i was sitting down but there were so many people packed into this tiny room that i felt like i had been at the front of a huge concert crowd when i came out. my legs were blue were i had sweat so much and the dye had run from my jeans haha. this week has been a mixed bag, it started off terribly but has gotten better, and now i'm feeling more optimistic. i've developed a tetris addiction, for one. i hold the top score on faceboook. takes me back to my gameboy days. oh yes. my mum and sisters fly to Ireland tomorrow/well today now, so it's just me and Dad for a week... i wonder who'll crack first? haha, it'll be fine, we'll just sit and watch only fools and horses on repeat.

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:12:41 GMT

two posts in as many days!? i know, you lucky people! i feel really icky today, i can't keep a straight head. i'm in an awful mood anyway (hormones) and my mum asked me if i was pregnant which was rather amusing. i've had a poorly tummy for nearly a week now and she thought i was having morning sickness or something. i laughed. for ages. it's the weather and my lack of fluid intake, before everyone starts jumping to conclusions. the heat and me don't have a stable relationship. neither do me and drink. my body doesn't tell me when i need to drink. well i feel all fuzzy and i have to go to work soon which doesn't please me one bit because i'd rather stay here and lie down. my neck is really sore and my glands are up and my throat is hurting so i'm under the weather anyway. i might lie on the kiosk floor and go to sleep. i don't think donna or kaz will mind. karen and reece came round earlier which cheered me up a bit. reece is getting so big! he talks and he can say my name! he can also swear which is really funny, he was walking around saying shit for ages :) i'm hoping my tocco will be here tomorrow. i refused the extra one this morning. i was up early surprisingly, despite the fact i was still awake at 3am... not sleeping well right now. oh well. i'm hormonal and emotional. i love being a woman! not.

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 00:16:49 GMT

life is very strange at the moment. very strange. um, apart from that, i've been feeling really icky lately which over dinner, i determined to be a hangover-like thing because in this heat, i'm not drinking, thus i'm dehydrated. i think. i'm going to be nineteen in less than four weeks and that scares me. i've got a lot to go through before that time, though. i'm not looking forward to it. such a ridiculous amount going on at the moment...
man, i wish i had a social life. i'm the saddest eighteen year old going.

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:08:22 GMT

it seems mean, that having failed my driving test only 4 days ago, that everywhere i go i'm faced with cars. i log onto the computer and i see car competitions! argh. i only got 6 minors as well. gutted. stupid bloody cyclists on phones.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:28:48 GMT

um, it's been a while again, sorry about that. not really much to tell except that i have a vertebrae subluxation and i'm going to be spending monday and thursday for the next three weeks in roy's office being poked and prodded and manipulated. roy's my chiropractor, if you hadn't guessed and thought i'd turned into a hooker or something(!) he made my back and neck and hips snap, crackle and pop today, which was an experience. my x-rays are pretty coool, i have an immense curvature of the bottom of my spine. i certainly like going private for treatment. the nhs is pretty dire in comparison.
apart from that, i've been out and about driving with my gramps in his clio which is sort of fun, but sort of not, considering my gramps and i have very different ideas about driving, but bless him, he did pass his test 46 years ago. things were a bit different then. only a day and a half until my test now! i'm sort of nervous, but a bit excited about the possible prospect of being legally able to drive by wednesday afternoon. i still don't have a car and my mum won't even brace the subject until i have that pass certificate in my hands.
i've spent the day in the garden sunning myself and generally chilling out listening to my iPod, which has been quite nice but i'm suffering serious paul withdrawal now and at this rate i'll have to continue like this until wednesday after my driving test because tomorrow is going to be jam packed with last minute shitting of self and car practising. i love my hectic life.

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:01:32 GMT

mamma mia was a surprisingly good film; at the beginning the obvious choreography didn't work, and i was thinking shit, i've got two hours of this yet... but it got better as the film went on, but then a lot of musicals don't translate well to the big screen.
i am now trying to find my mums copy of abba gold. i love that band.
tomorrow i am going to see a chiropractor to see if he can be the solution to my problem, however, i highly doubt it. bless my nan for trying though. i regret asking my gramps to take me out driving because now i feel like i'm a crap driver. this is not good when my test is 6 days away. i can do this. i think.
highlights of the day include getting brett's new album. hurrah! it's beautiful. it's very stripped down, very much sharing the aura of his recorded union chapel gig. bless the man, i am determined to see him play live this year.
i am off for my nightly dose of simon pegg in spaced, the man is a genius. i need paul hugs though, like huge ones. he gives great hugs.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 22:04:24 GMT

i'm really glad the weekend is done and over with. work has been a complete nightmare! i swear godzilla has cursed us - i wouldn't put it past her. i can't wait for sharon to come back and rescue us. there's been rats, and broken pumps, broken english and traffic management. not to mention 24p packs of 150g Doritos and Sensations, that was a personal highlight for me and david. i got my privilege card though, which was nice. mum was pleased. i love ten percent discounts :) yum.
i should feel really guilty now because i've just sat here and eaten the entire big bag of sensations, which is equal to about four bags of crisps. whooops. i'm gonna have chilli piss tomorrow. i have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow and i need a urine sample. it'll have steam and everything i reckon. sorry, that was a bit graphic, but i couldn't resist! i promise promise promise that i will actually write a holiday blog soon, it just involves resizing a lot of photos and i need to actually be bothered to do that before i can write anything.
apart from that, everything is pretty nang. last week was pretty odd, i felt like i was in a bit of a daze really but oh well. my driving test is very soon and i can't do manouvers at all right now (or spell it for that matter) which is worrying but the corners in tilbury are stupid and so are the cars there. i hate tilbury. i hope it's just a phase, i need to pass this test for my own sanity, and bank balance haha.
in my insanity, i have agreed to go to donna's wedding in aberdeen on a coach. for thirteen hours. i hate inflated transport prices. it's gonna be a really nice weekend, though. i'm looking forward to it. moreso now that i've got my entire outfit sorted already. i'm well skillz :)

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:02:02 GMT

i have photos now from holiday! and i promise at some point i will upload them. oh, the memories. i'm quite happy because i have pop tarts and cool photos :) i have a driving lesson in a bit, it's a two hour one and they annoy me because i get really really tired... i have my driving test in two weeks though, so i do need to knuckle down! shit, i could be legally driving this time in two weeks. shiiiiiiiiiiiit. scary stuff.